Getting friendzone sucks.
There’s a girl, you know, you’ve been hanging out with her for weeks or months, or maybe even years. And you finally get around to telling you how you feel, only to have a look at you with sympathy in her eyes.
And she says, “Oh, I like us more just as friends. ”
Today, I’m going to show you how to avoid that situation for good. So you never have to go through that experience again.
The mistake that a lot of guys reading this have probably made at least once or twice, maybe three times in your life, is you became friends with a girl first before trying to date her.
Now, this is its completely topsy turvy, the time that you had to tell a girl that you liked her in this instance, was the day you met her or maybe even worst-case scenario a week or so after chatting and being playful and sharing your passions on Facebook.
You see, there’s this mindset that guys have that, you know if you face-first meet a girl, but you don’t make an incredible impression that you should hang out with her a little bit more so that she gets to know the real you.
And the more she gets to know the real you the more she’s going to fall in love with the real you.
Unfortunately, that only happens in Hollywood. And it does happen in real life. But it’s rare. It’s the exception and not the rule. What’s worse, is that many women find this experience upsetting and a little bit traumatizing.
Think of it from a woman’s standpoint, she goes out, she meets a guy as a friend, she meets this guy, and they click they get along. She’s not necessarily interested in chemistry, he doesn’t seem to be interested in her. But they connect and they have these great conversations of more and more and more incredible conversations.
And she starts to open up, she starts to share things about herself, she starts to relax, you know, she doesn’t have to put on airs, because this isn’t the flirting thing.
This is a friendship thing. And so she’s opening up in a way that she wouldn’t close friends. And she’s starting to feel a bonding, friendship, get created. And all of a sudden, this guy turns around and says, Oh, no, I’m only here because I want to date you and be sexual with you. I hope you feel the same way.
For a lot of women, this feels like the whole thing’s been a sham. Even if that’s not quite fair, it feels like it’s been a lie and a sham and feels like all that time invested has been under pretenses.
And a lot of women find that quite upsetting and traumatizing. And a lot of men don’t realize they’re doing this to women when they put them in this situation, right? Because they just think well, you know, boo hoo this girl finds out this guy likes her.
But actually no boo hoo, this woman might just be losing a good friend. And that is upsetting. Here’s the golden rule. It is far, far easier to start as a flirtatious guy trying to create a sexual relationship with a woman than move into becoming a friend after trying to hit on her.
If it’s just not going to work, then it is to start off trying to be a friend and then move into a sexual relationship. You’re always better off starting from that standpoint first.
Now I know it can be a little scary trying to work out how to tell a girl you like her.
Yes, yes, I know that it’s scary to tell a girl you like her to face rejection to look potential rejection in the face and have a woman go he’s not good enough for me. I don’t like you enough, is rough.
But you’ve got to think of it in these terms. And think of all the time in your life. That men in general, not just you but men in general waste, pining of a woman who might not like them back right having this fantasy land in their head of what could happen. Right? They’re living with that being off the dating market for weeks, months, maybe even years.
While hoping this girl will come around. You think about this think about how much which is more painful, right? Tell them to go you’d like her and getting rejected by her the same night you may meet her for pining over a girl for months and months and months only to finally get rejected by her when you tell them which one’s gonna hurt more.
If you don’t know how to handle rejection you’re going to fall further and further and further behind in life until you willing to be rejected now he wasn’t the look that in the face because I’ll tell you what, guys, I’ve been rejected a lot, not just women, but in all parts of my life, right? rejection is a critical part of life that you’re going to try to wrap your heads around and, and yes, I know it sucks, and it’s unpleasant.
But after a while you get used to it, you start to realize that rejection happens,, and it kind of sucks, but it’s not so bad. And the cherry on the top guys, is that female friends are freaking awesome, right? So if you’ve gone out and you’ve told the girl you liked her, but she didn’t like you back that way, and you decide shes cool anyway, I want to be a friend.
You can go on and have a completely unadulterated friendship with her where you connect over the things you bonded over.
You know, female friends are just great because they give you a type of friendship male friends can’t give. They tend to be more emotionally open, sensitive, caring, I have great conversations with my female friends, I wouldn’t trade them, the world.
But if you’ve constantly got this, I’ve got a crush on you looming over your head, you’ll never have a true friendship. And don’t cheat yourself out of that.
Let me know in the comments below what you think Have you been in this chat before of not telling a woman you’d like her? have you managed to bite the bullet and do it?